deadbydawn's Blog


okay so i dont want to sound stupid and please dont judge but here's my story:
im 15 years old when i was 14 i started hanging round with the wrong group of friends and started getting involved in drugs/alcohol, im not gonna lie at the time it made me feel important and i just wanted to fit in. I was out with friends one night and there were a few guys i didnt know i got drunk and one of them raped me, .. i didnt even know his name or how old he was
i suffered from broken ribs, broken arm, bruises, black eye, fractured collerbone and other injuries that i wont mention
, no one knew about it and i just felt so dirty so i started sleeping around, i couldnt have a relationship with anyone as i just felt so worthless and disgusting, my friends at school found out and called me names such as sket and slag, i just felt horrible and even tried attempting suicide. My close friends helped me get through it and i was feeling so much happier and my school work was improving and i had got my reputation back, everyone had started accepting me again. i was so happy and id stopped cutting completely then i went to a party, it was going well until i saw the guy..the same guy who had ruined my life a few months before.he got me alone and threatened me that if i told anyone what had happened he would kill me, i was terrified and said i wouldnt he then raped me again and even know i have nightmares about him. I had turned my life around and now it had just come crashing down. and thats not even the end of the story, i fell pregnant with his baby and decided to keep it, i told everyone it was a one night stand and i gave my consent, i then miscarried and i felt horrible, like i had killed my baby, my closest friend (the only person who knew) said i should be glad because of what had happened and it was probably for the best becasue of who the babies father was but i didnt know what to think. I miscarried 4 days ago and i just dont want to live anymore please somebody help me x

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MY STORY, posted November 17th, 2012

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